Completely Immersed... (Day 83)

I feel completely immersed in this new life, and I like it. I like it very much.

I was thinking today about deprivation.  In the past with my many, many diet attempts, I remember always feeling sorry for myself and very deprived. 

I couldn't eat the things that I wanted. If I was to stick to my diet and lose weight, I couldn't have the burgers or french fries or ice cream or donuts or candy or...well, you know what I mean. The list goes on and on of all the things I couldn't have.

Deprived.  I felt very, very deprived.

And so after a very short time, I would just give up and go back to indulging myself with anything I desired. I wasn't feeling deprived any longer...I was just gaining more and more weight and becoming more unhealthy by the minute.

I'm beginning to realize how messed up that thinking was.

Messed up but with a twist.  Because the truth is, it was the times that I was being the most indulgent that I was really the most deprived.

I was deprived of fruits and vegetables and whole grains and chicken and seafood and water and...well, you know what I mean.  The list goes on and on of all the healthy things I wasn't eating because I was mostly eating junk.

I'm not feeling deprived these days. For nearly 3 months, I've been choosing healthy food in reasonable portions and I'm feeling so much healthier than I have felt in many, many years. I've developed a taste for healthy foods.

Some day I may add some of those old indulgences back into my diet. I don't know, though. I've been reading too many lists of ingredients lately. There's a lot of crap in the stuff I used to eat!

None of this is easy...it took me 20 years to get here. I'm just glad I finally got here, and that I got here before it was too late.

1,210 calories today and I'm going to work up a sweat on the bike in a little while.  I'm happy to say that I lost 4.5 lbs. last week...40 lbs. to date!

One of the reasons I'm where I am at this point is because of the support system that this blogging world provides. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart...you're in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Good night and God bless...