Good Stuff on Day 184

Well, this has been a catch up week.  It feels good to tackle some of those tasks that have been on hold and actually make some head-way.  I was also able to wade through all the resumes that have been submitted for the open position in my department and we'll be starting interviews next week. Once we get the right person on board and trained, things will hopefully be more manageable.

2 more lbs. lost this week.  184 days and 79 lbs. total.  That averages out to just under 1/2 lb. per day. Amazing. Remarkable, really.

Making wise and healthy food choices has become completely habitual.  I could phone it in. 1,000 to 1,300 calories every day, and I am amazed at how much my body craves water.

I've said this before and it's more true than ever. I don't know what clicked this time around. Something, though.

Something tripped in my brain that removed all doubt about what is really important, and what I'm capable of.

Maybe I simply wasn't ready before. Maybe I had more to learn.  I do know that I'm really, really happy about one particular thing related to the delay.

Bill and I were married for 25 years when we separated.  We were apart for 3 years, and we've been back together for 6. 

After 3 years apart, he told me that he really, truly loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. At that time, I was fat.  I was really fat. And truth be told, I got even fatter after we got back together.

But he loved me anyway. Emotionally, spiritually, and unbelievably, physically. 

What I'm really glad about is that we got back together before I lost all this weight. It removes all doubt about his motives and his feelings for me.

It's been a joyous time of discovery for us as we've gone down this road together.  I think he's especially intrigued by all the emerging angles...shoulders, ribs, jawline, hipbones, ankles. We are enjoying each other in the most fresh and beautiful ways. And I simply couldn't love him any more than I do.

I certainly love him more than a double quarter pounder with cheese. I love my family more than french fries and a chocolate shake. I love myself more than cake, and cookies, and candy.  I didn't used to.  But I do now.

I wonder if I'll ever eat that stuff again.  Right now I really don't think so.  Maybe in moderation some day. But who knows.  There is no appeal there right now. A juicy chicken breast with a steaming pile of veggies sounds so much better to me. Kinda sounds like I'm brainwashed, but it's 100% true.

As I was going up the scale, the last pair of jeans I wore was a size 24.  When they didn't fit anymore, I didn't buy any more jeans. Like Nacho Libre, I just resorted to "stretchy pants."

Shortly before Christmas, I bought a pair of jeans in size 18T. They're baggy now. I just ordered a pair of 16T, and a pair of 14T, too.  Maybe I'll make it to size 12, but at 5'11", I would die exceedingly happy at size 14.

I'm not sure when I'll be ready for maintenance.  Late spring, early summer, I think.  I'll be dealing with this loose skin alot longer than that.  But that's OK.  I'm alot healthier now, so I have many more years ahead of me to become the best me I can be.

Been praying for all you friends out in the blogosphere.  Praying that you find that spark inside yourself to either continue in your resolve, or to start anew, once and for all.

Night friends, and may God bless you.